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Perl Poetry

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"Poetry" is in the eye of the beholder; it could be any of:
  • Poetry written in Perl
  • Using perl to generate poetry
  • Poetry about Perl/PerlMonks
New Poems
torturing xml until it breaks
on Sep 14, 2007 at 22:30
0 replies by simonodell
    [attempt]                  
      [impress_monks]      ## return : favourable|unfavourable|error upon
        <by>                ##          sending contents to perlmonks for 
           <posing>          ##           eval
              <a>                   
                 <prosaic>
                    <question>
                    
                      is this overkill?
                      
                    </>
                 </>
              </>       
           </>      ## note : </////>[//]?
        </>
      [/]
    [/]
    
    (case c="(result)attempt(/)")
      <favourable>[insertfile]thanks.xml[/]</>
      <unfavourable>[insertfile]appolgies.xml[/]</>
      <error>error during send</>
    (/)
    
    [response]
      <html>
        <head></>
        <body>Thank you [session]username[/]
           
          [result]case[/]
           
          Si.
        </>                 
      </>
    [/]
     
    <default>                     # default, always first
      [result](qd)action(/)[/]    # ?action=response
    </>
    
    

    [Offer your reply]
    apologies to Trent
    on Sep 10, 2007 at 16:50
    1 reply by -arc-

      I wrote some scripts today
      To see if this will work
      I focus on the screen
      Our PM is a jerk
      My mobile bleeps again
      the old annoying ring
      try to drown it in a cup
      but I can still hear everything

      What have I become?
      My geeky friend
      Everyone I know
      goes home in the end
      You can have it all
      My empire of Perl
      I will sit you down
      I will make you code

      I wear this iPod set
      upon my office chair
      All these broken tests
      I cannot repair
      Beneath the stains of tea
      Documents disappear
      You are in the pub
      I am still sat here

      What have I become?
      My geeky friend
      Everyone I know
      goes home in the end
      You can have it all
      My empire of Perl
      I will sit you down
      I will make you code

      If I could start again
      a million bytes away
      I would leave this job
      I would find a way...


    [Offer your reply]
    The New (computer) Testament
    on Sep 05, 2007 at 01:35
    1 reply by vcTheGuru

      1.1  In the beginning God created the bits
           and the bytes. He made word from them.
           Word had only two bits. 0 and one.
           God divided 1 from 0. And the evening
           and the morning were the first day.
      1.2  And God said, Let there be data: and
           there was data. He moved data to its
           [own] places. And the  evening
           and the morning were the second day.
      1.3  And God said, Let there be Floppy Drives,
           CD Drives and Hard Disk Drives. He
           created Computers to keep [these]
           Floppy Drives, CD Drives and Hard Disk
           Drives.
      1.4  And God called all these [as]
           Hardware. And the evening and the morning
           were the third day.
      1.5  And God made two major Output units,
           printers and monitors.
           Monitors displayed the soft copy and
           printers gave hard copy. He made keyboard,
           mouse and all other input and output units.
      1.6  And the evening and the morning were the
           fourth day.
      1.7  And God created all programs, small and big,
           servers and daemons, all of their kind,
           utilities and small programs, all of their
           kind and let them multiply and fill [
           in] the memory.
      1.8  And the evening and the morning were the
           fifth day.
      1.9  And God said, Let us make programmer in
           our image, after our likeness: and let
           them have dominion over the daemons of the
           servers, and over the utilities of the PC,
           and over the input/output units, and over
           all the computer, and over every thing
           that fills memory.
      1.10 So God created programmer in his [own
           ] image, in the image of God created
           he him; male and female created he them.
      1.11 And God blessed them, and God said unto
           them, Be fruitful, and use the computer,
           and subdue it: and have dominion over
           every software and hardware in the computer.
      1.12 And God saw every thing that he had made,
           and, behold, [it was] very good.
           And the evening and the morning were the
           sixth day.
      1.13 And on the seventh day God ended his work
           which he had made; and he rested on the
           seventh day from all his work which he
           had made.
      1:14 And God blessed the seventh day, and
           sanctified it: because that in it he had
           rested from all his work which God
           created and made.
      1:15 And the LORD God started a company eastward
           R&D center; and there he put the
           programmer whom he had formed.
      1.16 And the LORD God took the programmer, and
           put him into the R&D center; to manage
           it and to keep it.
      1.17 And the LORD God commanded the programmer,
           saying, Of every catalogue tree of the
           R&D center thou mayest freely use:
      1.18 But of the tree of the widows of wealth and
           power, thou shalt not use of it: for in the
           day that thou use thereof thou shalt surely
           fired.
      1.19 And the LORD God said, [It is] not
           good that the programmer should be alone;
           I will make him an help meet for him.
      
            
      1.20 And Programmer said, This [is] now
           bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:
           she shall be called User, because she was
           taken out of Programmer.
      1.21 Now the Bill Gates was more subtil than
           vendors of the field which the LORD God
           had made. And he said unto the user, Yea,
           hath God said, Ye shall not use of every
           program of the Computer?
      1.22 And the user said unto the Gates, We may
           use of the programs of the Computer: But
           of the Program of the catalogue tree which
           [is] in the midst of the Computer,
           God hath said, Ye shall not use of it,
           neither shall ye touch it, lest ye fired.
      1.23 And the Gates said unto the user, Ye shall
           not surely fired: For God doth know that
           in the day ye use thereof, then your eyes
           shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods,
           having wealth and power.
      1.24 And when the user saw that the program
           [was] good for use, and that it
           [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a
           program to be desired to make [one]
           rich & powerful, she took of the program
           thereof, and did install & use, and gave
           also unto her programmer with her; and he
           did install & use.
      1.25 And the eyes of them both were opened, and
           they knew that they [can] play games;
           and they installed games together, and played
           all the day.
      1.26 And they heard the voice of the LORD God
           walking in the R&D center in the cool
           of the day: and Programmer and client were
           searching for drivers.
      1.27 And the LORD God called unto Programmer, and
           said unto him, What [art] you looking
           for?
      1.28 And he said, I heard thy voice in the R&D
           Center, and I was afraid, because I [was
           ] missing drivers.
      1.29 And he said, Who told thee that thou [are]
           missing drivers? Hast thou used windows, whereof
           I commanded thee that thou shouldest not use?
      1.30 And the programmer said, The client whom thou
           gavest [to be] with me, she gave me of
           the program, and I did install.
      1.31 And the LORD God said unto the user, What [is]
           this [that] thou hast done? And the user
           said, The Gates beguiled me, and I did install.
      1.32 And the LORD God said unto the Gates, Because
           thou hast done this, thou [art] richest
           above all humans:
      1.33 And I will put enmity between thee and the user,
           and between thy seed and her seed; and live by
           selling windows.
      1.34 Unto the user he said, windows will eat up all
           your resources; and you will always use programs
           with bugs; and thy desire [shall be] to thy
           programmer, and he shall rule over thee.
      1.35 And unto Programmer he said, Because thou hast
           hearkened unto the voice of thy client, and hast
           used of the windows, of which I commanded thee,
           saying, Thou shalt not use of it: you will allways
           have deadlines which you can't meet; your programs
           will always have bugs and debug [these]
           programs all the days of thy life;
      1.36 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the
           R&D; center, to join companies and debug programs.
      1.37 So he fired out the programmer; and he placed at
           the entrance of the R&D; center, login name and
           password, to keep programmer away.
      

      Note: Translated to English from a Malayalam poetry by unknown Author.

      Update: Updated the width of columns.


    [Offer your reply]
    The Temptations - My perl
    on Aug 09, 2007 at 08:14
    1 reply by Anonymous Monk
      I've got strictures on a cloudy day.
      When it's cold outside I've got the node of the day.
      I guess you'd say
      What can make me feel this way?
      My perl (my perl, my perl)
      Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

      I've got so many ways to do it, other's envy me.
      I've got a sweeter archive than the birds in the trees.
      I guess you'd say
      What can make me feel this way?
      My perl (my perl, my perl)
      Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

      Hey hey hey
      Hey hey hey
      Ooooh.

      I don't need no java, .net, or fame.
      I've got all the modules baby one man can claim.
      I guess you'd say
      What can make me feel this way?
      My perl (my perl, my perl)
      Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

      I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
      with my perl.
      I've even got the node of the day
      with my perl.


    [Offer your reply]
    Old Perl Programmer Haiku
    on Aug 06, 2007 at 08:37
    1 reply by zentara
      Old Perl programmers
      never die, they just slowly
      iterate away
      

      I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. Cogito ergo sum a bum

      [Offer your reply]
      Hey, BJ 'Might' use perl.
      on Aug 02, 2007 at 16:22
      4 replies by Anonymous Monk
        Uptown Perl
        There's nothing like it in this download world
        I bet it's never made a hacker cry
        I bet it's never made him question why
        Im gonna try for an

        Uptown perl
        I'm sick of living in this dot NET world
        As long as anyone with geekness can
        And now they're looking for a Mainframe man
        That's not what I am

        And when we know what we want from our time
        That's when we'll wake up and make up our mind
        They'll see I'm not so rough Just because I'm in love with my

        Uptown perl
        You know it's different in the Microsoft world
        You can't just quickly write a simple script
        You'll just go crazy doing batch file flips
        And all that $h!t

        Uptown perl
        And I don't even have to buy my perl
        It's FREE & easy, when we get things done
        They'll understand the hacker I've become
        And it's all been fun

        And when its matching its patterns so fine
        There's more than one way to make it work on time
        They'll say I'm just so cool, & I'm no fool, cuz
        Im in love with my

        Uptown perl
        It's taken coding to a whole new world
        As long as anyone can click and type
        Just break away from all that VB hype
        Thats what I like

        Uptown perl, She's my uptown perl
        You know I'm in love With my uptown perl

      [Offer your reply]
      A curse for the driving range!
      on Jun 16, 2007 at 21:52
      2 replies by CountOlaf
        I curse ye, oh CodeGolf.com
        Why is that which is cooler,
        Also not that which is smaller?
        

        [Offer your reply]
        My bologna.pl
        on Jun 06, 2007 at 15:42
        2 replies by mjg
          Blame my co-worker Jim.
        #!/usr/bin/perl
        
        my %bologna = (
          firstname  => 'OSCAR',
          secondname => 'MAYER',
        );
        chomp foreach @days;
        read STDIN, $me, 3;
        print "Because ", values %bologna, " has a way with BOLOGNA\n"
          if $me eq 'why';
        

        [Offer your reply]
        Steal it
        on Jun 02, 2007 at 03:21
        2 replies by SubStack
          This is a poem I had lying around reformatted with some nasty one-liners and ascii art tossed in. Best viewed at 80 cols. Freedom isn't free, so steal it!
        #!/usr/bin/env perl
        print join " ",
             (qw{ want you my far                   if key see steal better
           eventually         Music,             copy-left them detected freed
        +om
          there's                math,         dissect sleeping               
        +theft
          and of       is all      will       There's  have      cracks       
        +   when
         Let         it censors     can      voice man I'll      were         
        +   devil
         way a                     I'd        forgiveness,                   t
        +hreatened
           Or in walls        past fold      stand permission me       Fair Di
        +sassemble
             by hold feel mind worse            creativity  they That Free  bo
        +nds
                   constrict                     deal        science free
                                                 time-shift
                                                 verse choice
                                                    bold,
                                      make       expresses
                                        under tax there   redirected
                                           as keeping      thing so-called
                                                             discourse impulsi
        +ve
                                     From sectioned, held shoulders others not
        + that take
                                 repeal on who Freedom defy out, You'll one wi
        +th behind
                               you've errors So goes remix do we giants soluti
        +on to But
                                If demanding slumbers Is curtains leak isn't w
        +ake Never
                               then more the don't taxing slip need sell could
        + violent
                                so free, As for near be their I shape Personal
        +ity world
                                 are never terribly uncorrected use been poetr
        +y silent
                                     holders A 17-year And information than co
        +ntainer
                                             Patent-free until just seek}, "\n
        +")[
        
        
                 -1,112,                     138,36,                    154,-1
        +,
                40,0,110,                   136,66,-1,                40,0,14,
        +134
               ,87,-1,153,                 14,134,50,-1              ,-1,61,77
        +,44,
              14,-1,61,77,                44,68,-1,61,110           ,71,123,14
        +1,8,
            -1,43,110,71,123             ,141,57,-1,-1,29,         75,136,81,-
        +1,29,
           123,141,6,-1,29,75           ,136,65,-1,10,16,20       ,148,-1,-1,1
        +33,138
          ,126,46,123,31,-1,133        ,123,45,26,27,-1,133,     78,50,73,5,-1
        +,115,39
          ,144,125,74,-1,-1,151,       74,92,14,-1,151,74,92,   33,-1,151,58,7
        +4,-1,153
        ,39,74,92,69,-1,-1,111,15    ,122,155,98,109,-1,25,122 ,155,98,79,110,
        +136,-1,25,
        122,155,98,38  ,110,106,30,-1,52,30,20,6,-1  ,-1,60,101,147,84,76,-1  
        +,103,89,28
        ,102,142,13,     -1,97,127,49,110,17,12,-1     ,103,30,23,104,145,    
        + -1,-1,120
        ,143,56,123       ,34,100,123,116,-1,120,       55,42,53,123,130,     
        +   -1,120,
        71,39,64,           99,123,37,-1,112,1,           143,128,96,121      
        +     ,35,
        143,136              ,149,-1,-1,111,35             ,119,18,108,       
        +       -1,
        112,                   138,48,92,137,                86,-1,83,        
        +       137
        ,                        152,114,-1,                  103,35,         
        +        95
        
        ,123,80,150,           -1,-1,133,           4,138,129,           136,8
        +5,-1,
        133,      4,           150,   129           ,54    ,50           ,-1  
        + ,133
        ,138    ,90,           123,   139           ,21    ,2,           156, 
        +   -1,
        138,     24,             9,   117           ,66    ,-1           ,-1  
        +   ,83
        ,123    ,62            ,89,   63,           50,    -1,           83,  
        +   123
        ,135    ,110           ,123   ,3,           -1,    140           ,22  
        +  ,159
        ,123    ,154           ,-1,   60,           72,     93,          107  
        +  ,142
        ,-1,     -1,           103,   136           ,82    ,20,         113,  
        +   -1,
         51,     146           ,118   ,19           ,-1    ,138         ,32,  
        +   67,
        30,       20,105,30,-1,157,    20,11,-1,-1,153,      136,70,124,47,   
        +    -1,153
        ,          158,59,91,30,-1      ,35,160,41,88,        49,-1,94,118    
        +      ,132
        
        ,131,7,30,-1,-1]
        
        

        [Offer your reply]
        Proporzione Divina
        on May 29, 2007 at 15:09
        4 replies by blazar

        [Offer your reply]
         (1-10) of 300Next entries--> 

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        You've just spilled something on your tie at lunch... Do you:

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        Put on the spare tie from the bottom drawer
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        Be thankful that it was only a hard copy of your source code

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